You mean to tell me that has nothing to do with the relationship that baby will have in its future? Bc why? It starts with babies. Who turn into adults with wounded inner child still inside and there you have the shit show that is our world today. It is rare that someone is born a total psychopath. It all begins with wounding as a child. Thank you for sharing this Camille.
At 70 and always having analysed people and life, from experience, I truly believe that people can be BORN either nasty or good. If anyone has had pain, I have, and yet it would not enter my mind ever to be unkind or take revenge.
My narcissistic mother however told me stories about her childhood where unwittingly she was admitting as to what a horror she must have been for her parents and until she died at 94, she manipulated, triangulated and enjoyed stirring up trouble. My son seems to have inherited her exact ways, dominating, blaming, arrogant dogmatic, and extremely selfish while my daughter was and is, always kind and helpful to everyone, ever since she was a toddler. I am quite a few years from 70 but as a 48 year old, I can vouch what you have said.
There are people born this way. The author claims that calling people sociopaths is dehumanizing them. In any event, I have dealt with sociopaths.
They are real, and their cruelty and meanness has nothing to do with pain. In fact, many of them are extremely well-adjusted and happy, because their entire state of being is based on acquiring things and seeing other people as merely an extension of getting what they want. How unfair! Everyone has the capacity to shine brighter than the sun, just make sure you bring the appropriate sunblock for those pesky UV rays that persist on burning you. As an emotional sensitive person growing up with a sometimes cruel mother Ive learned the hard way that its not my responsibility to absorb or carry other peoples pain.
Its alot of undoing and unlearning emotional burdens that were not mine to carry in the first place. I still often feel responsible and guilty for other peoples emotions, especially anger.
I now understand more about the pain and fear behind peoples cruel words and violence that I feel more compassion for them but at the same time I release myself of the burdens of carrying their unresolved issues. Ive bettered learned to set boundaries , to stand up for myself and better yet, to stay clear from these toxic people.
I have learned that some of the cruelest, most selfish people live the longest. It is said that everything in nature is balanced. But i can not see even a single person who can say that he or she is happy. And i am no different. I have hurt people and have been hurt.
Could not find how nature balances it. I was in a toxic relationship with my ex and she hurt me a lot. We both had mental problems depression and we broke up in the worst way. But now that I am wiser and older, i look back at that relationship and i feel guilty; because I feel like I could help her to love herself. How can I move on from this feeling?
There is no guarantee that what works for some people will work for everybody in the same situation. You need to do what you believe is best in your personal situation and not compare with others. Not everything is for everybody. Well said, Alexandra.
I was offered no explanation as to why I was removed and when I said I was going to write something on the BBC about it, I was told "no comment". Facebook confirmed that it was up to administrators to make decisions about members and if they wanted to change the settings from Public to Secret they could, removing whoever they chose along the way - even if they hadn't broken any rules. The social network did not want to comment specifically on my case but more generally a spokeswoman said: "Unfortunately there are some people who set out to annoy or frustrate others online, just as in everyday life.
Our rules and tools are designed to help keep Facebook a respectful place for the 1. The problem is that the nature of the internet means that within groups and the wider social networks we are all part of, people are only a few clicks away from being able to annoy frustrate or upset a whole range of people - often strangers. And for many the temptation to respond to a post they find annoying or frustrating is just too hard to resist - as I encountered on MGG.
What we do to counteract that is unclear but we could start by following the advice of the woman who has been victim to more cyber-gossip and net negativity than perhaps any other. During her Ted speech, Ms Lewinsky urged people simply to "post something positive". End online humiliation says Lewinsky. How to deal with the cyberbullies. Image source, Thinkstock. Gossip has made the world go around for centuries but in the digital age has it become more malicious?
Community spirit? Was the community spirit embodied in dramas such as Call the Midwife real or imagined? Heartbreaking comments. Online gossip is easily spread and not easily retracted. Suburban gossip. Image source, Screen grab. Maidenhead Gossip Girls started off a site to provide local information but also hosts a lot of arguments. But there were also a lot of arguments. Maidenhead Mumble wanted to do away with arguments and introduce a bit of fun.
They have no mental checks in place to stop them from acting in such ways. If and when you are faced with someone acting in a mean or disrespectful way, what should you do?
Remind yourself that there may be so much more than just plain rudeness going on and filter out your instinctive response. Whether the reason is emotional, social, psychological, or cultural, there will be some trigger or othe for the behavior you find hurtful or unacceptable. Whatever the issues behind the behavior — any one of the above or a whole host of others — you have no control over the circumstances underlying the action.
But you can control how you respond. Remember that you have a choice in the way you react and responding like-for-like is rarely the best response.
Take the time to find out what triggered the rudeness. Try to curb your instinctive response and stop yourself from retaliating. Removing yourself from the challenging situation is the most effective way to avoid being in the firing line for more rude behavior from the same person.
Remember that you may unknowingly be guilty of upsetting people from other cultures by acting in a way which you consider to be quite normal. This gives the other person a chance to calm down and readjust their behavior. Perhaps you can, in a small way, reverse the cycle and spread some joy instead! The happy truth about human beings is that the majority are decent people who are occasionally so overwhelmed by circumstances that they lash out verbally and take out their frustration on innocent parties.
Dealing with rude and mean people requires bucket loads of empathy and patience.
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